Dear The Marks and Spencers,
Why have you got that Caroline Quentin off the telly on your adverts?
Ages ago, when I was about ten, we were in Brean on a campsite, in the club and an entertainer man
asked loads of things like "Go and get a St.Christopher and bring it to me" Then he asked for a
St.Michael and no-one knew what it was and I don't think anyone had any Marks and Spencers clothes
because we were in a campsite in Brean and it was the car workers shut down week. Anyway someone's
nan had a Marks and Spencers cardigan and they dragged up her to the stage. They should have just
asked her to take her cardigan off really. She didn't win a prize or anything. I didn't care at
the time because I went to play Gauntlet in the arcade, but it's been bothering me lately. Have
you got any free things I can have that you don't want. Things I like are : cardigans, prawn
mayonnaise sandwiches, crisps that aren't crisps but are really vegetables ( especially the
beetroot ones), orange juice, trousers- size 16, socks. Not hats though.
Thank you
And the reply
Dear Mrs Ignatia,
Thank you for your comments.
Unfortunately, we are unable to give out free things.
I hope you continue to shop at M&S with confidence.
Thanks again for taking the time to get in touch.
Bad luck with the free things. I like their prawn sandwiches too and their bras. They do my size which is enormous. I just bought one today.
ReplyDeleteSheena,
ReplyDeleteNext time you write to The Marks and Spencer, ask them about their men's off-the-peg suits.
Most of the jackets seem to be 50, 52 or 54 inch chests, but then most of the trousers in matching colours and styles seem to be 30 or 32 inch waists.
What's the bloody customer profile for Marks and Spencer suit buyers I wonder? triangular blokes? people shaped like spinning tops?
I can only assume there's a branch somewhere that's the other way around with jackets for wimpy blokes with 36 inch chests, and pants for fat buggers. Perhaps the customers there are all pyramid shaped.