Beer Cans of Birmingham 2012 Calendar

Looking for an interesting Christmas gift? Why not treat a loved one ( or yourself)  to The Beer Cans of Birmingham  Calendar 2012.

It's pictures of Beer Cans. In Birmingham.

Have a look at some more.

Beer cans not your thing? How about Bins of Birmingham?



25 % of proceeds from these calendars will be donated to Team Hannah to help save her life. 

Terry and June

Watch this:


You might want to watch it again . See what a total biatch June Whitfield is?
Watch it again and you will see how surprised she is when Terry brings her out a drink and then he falls over- does she say "terry, love have you hurt yourself? " No! She looks embarassed, like she doesn't want to be seen with him. BUT the thing is, there isn't any other f*****r about is there?
So what difference does it make? Why is she so embarassed?
So she's embarassed to be seen with him, IN FRONT OF ONLY HIM!
Now, what is that going to do for his self confidence? Nothing! Absolutely nothing at all.
No wonder he's a bumbling falling over idiot man, he's probably on his nerves edge all the while! 

But wait... looks what happens next. That will teach you Whitfield. That will teach you.

Look. Here's an inspiring twig

Jobs, Steve Jobs and how I nearly got axe-murdered to death.

Narrowly escaped murder this morning. Was so desperate to escape The Office of Doom ( more about that another time) and The Commute of Pain , I applied for a job wrapping up and despatching parcels- you know sot of like playing post offices but getting paid for it.
Thought it was a bit weird it was a residential address, but the woman said she had five employees, so assumed she had a garage or a home office or whatever.
Anyway, went along this morning. Have you seen life of grime?
Well it was kind of like that. Big creepy old house at the end of a drive. I've passed this drive hundreds of times and never noticed the house before- yeah I know, has got horor film written all over it, hasn't it. There wasn't any atmospheric weather though.Was quite bright with a bit of drizzle- not very horror film.
Have you seen A Life of Grime? The one where they have to go and clean out years of filth from some mad cat lady? Was sort of like that-. I couldn't see through the windows because they were covered in filth but on the other side I could make out towers of boxes that looked like they had been there for decades.
Was all a bit disgusting and very clear that the only reason I was there was so someone could kill me and eat me. There was a white truck outside that said polar on it so I am assuming it was freezer type thing. That was where they would store my body. There was so much crap outside the front door, I had to negotiate my approach carefully.
Don't know what stopped me from leaving right away, but I decided to knock the door and it creaked open. That's when the German Shepherd introduced himself ( might have been a werewolf) He forced the door shut and barked so ferociously, I decided I'd best leave.
Didn't really want to work anywhere that smelt of wet dogs anyway. And I didn't fancy being murdered.And eaten.
Legged it to the bus stop, phoned DH and told him I was coming home instead of being murdered. He said we should go for a cuppa. Of course. I've just escaped death. Let's go to Costa. So we did. Then we went to homebase to buy a flourescent light bulb, then to KFC, had a nose in the pet shop and Wilkinsons and came home. Seemed a weird thing to do after escaping death. Very nice, but just a bit ordinary.
When we were in the pet shop, I had to move away from the lizards as they had crickets and stuff in their cages and was a bit too Silence of The Lambs moth things for me.It was a ll a bit raw, you know?  Cute hamsters though.

Mad axe murderer text to ask why I hadn't turned up. She was disappointed as I was their favourite candidate ( to eat) and she'd still like to see me.  Then the office of doom phoned and well, sacked me I spose is the technical term.So there I was, no job with what sounded like the offer of one.
Told the mad axe lady I was scared of dogs ( and being murdered ). Told the office of doom something else.

So yeah, I'm jobless but I'm not in the refrigeration truck or dead or anything, so it's cool really. Thought about Steve Jobs who said

the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.
 
Still, I might just give her a ring and see if the job is still there on Monday...

Primark bans radio 4- Society is "dumbed down"

So, I went into Primark listening to Radio 4 on my portable telephone wireless and it just changed over to Radio One by itself. Just like that. I don't mind radio one, but I was having a listen to radio four.
So what have Primark got against Radio 4. I suspect it's something to do with dumbing down of society, we should blame the parents or whatever it is we do when things like this happen.

Anyway, I'm not that bothered. I bought a nice yellow dress for eleven of your earth pounds, so I don't care.

That's all really.

My blog about the piece of toast on my balcony and emotional rollercoasters

On Saturday, there was a piece of toast on my balcony. This means one of the neighbours has at some point chucked a piece of toast out of the window. 


Seriously, why would you do that? What kind of situation makes you throw toast out the window?


If anyone can fathom this toast throwing incident, Don't reply here, get yourself down to CERN and have a word with Brian cox as you are clearly able to solve other mysteries of the universe


Also, I have news of an exciting development. I am inventing an emotional rollercoaster. 

I'm going to invent and patent it. Then, I won't let anyone go on it. Then, when reality tv contestants say something is like being on an emotional rollercoaster, I will "No, it isn't. How would you know anyway, you've never been on the world's only emotional rollercoaster."
Then, I'll probably sue them or something.


If I don't do that I might go on a reality programme and say 'its like being on an emotional ghost train/waltzers/teacup things'

Just when I'd made friends with Asos

Was a bit cross with Asos after they posted weird beard model bloke on facebook. Put my off my tea they did.
But earlier today I forgave them when they posted this wonderful picture.

This is Samira Larouci, one of the winners of the Asos Vintage competition. Isn't it and she gorgeous?

So I made friends with Asos until a few minutes later that posted this photo as part of the menswear collection

No. Just no! Imagine if your boyfriend or husband came home in this get up? You'd be wondering what he was doing in the park and why that special brew drinking tramp stole his clothes and swapped them for his own. Then because your DH was now wearing the tramps clothes, he'd be all stinky and so because you didn't want him to come in the house, you'dd have to send him to local swimming baths for a shower or something.  It's got horses on it. Horses! Just stop it now.